Feeling Like a Fraud
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“I’ll never be good enough.”
Those words have lived in my head since I was a child.
I know everyone suffers from low self-esteem at one point or another, but for some people, myself included, it’s near constant. As soon as we start to gain some confidence, life knocks us back down.
Now, my goal in life is not to be perfect at everything! That’s a goal I would never attain. But I do want to find something I’m good at and push into it. The problem is that I feel like a fraud. How I could I be a successful writer when I don’t have a college degree? How can I be a successful mom when this is my first kid? How can I be a successful wife when I am so flawed and selfish and just not good enough?
My word of the year for 2018 is ‘foundation.’
I want to spend the year laying strong foundations for the rest of my life, and beginning new journeys that will change me for the better. Part of this process is figuring out what my life is going to look like in the future so I can plan for it. And I have to be honest with you: my prospects aren’t great in the financial realm. I didn’t go to college and it won’t be in the budget anytime soon. I don’t have any particular skills that an employer would pay me for. (Unless I can be a professional bottom-wiper. Oh wait, I already am!)
That’s where this blog comes in: I’m hoping that, with persistence and a lot of effort, I might be able to set up not only a source of income but a creative outlet, where I can be heard and respected for who I am. I might not be able to use my potty-training knowledge at an office job, but maybe through my blog it might help another mom who is just as much at the end of her rope as I was.
The thought of blogging, and putting effort into something I know absolutely nothing about, is terrifying! But I am reminding myself that being ‘successful’ doesn’t mean raking in a hundred grand in my first month. It just needs to be ‘worth it.’ Just ‘good.’
I think that applies to me, too.
‘Good enough’ has so much weight; when will I finally, if ever, reach it? But good, not great, not perfect — that is a goal I can reach. I can be a good mom, a good wife, and a good writer. I can share my knowledge with others, and they might get something good out of it. And I can set myself up to have a perfectly good life.
If you’re struggling with feelings of not being good enough…
Reach Out to a Friend
I’m so blessed to have a tribe of great friends who know me well. They are great at reminding me of my strengths when I forget! Even if your friends are mostly online, that support from good friends who know how to build up others is priceless.
Remind Yourself of Your Strengths
If you’re in a position where you din’t have many people to reach out to yet, you can do some self-love! Keep a list of things you’re good at. I know, it’s easy to feel like we’re not good at anything sometimes. But even if the only thing you can think of is wiping bottoms, write it down! It could lead to more things (like taking care of your little ones’ needs).
Read, Read, Read
Reading is one of the easiest, most fun ways to learn new things! What better way to learn than from someone else who’s been through the same things you have. Whether it’s blogs or books, I’m always looking for ways to do things more efficiently. Some of the books I can’t wait to read are this one and this one!
This is the scariest tip of all! But how will we ever find out what we’re good at if we don’t try new things? We’ve all heard that people regret the things they never try more than the things they tried and failed. Don’t keep leting your fears paralyze you! I’ll go first—I’m starting this blog, writing about my vulnerabilities for the whole internet to read!
I hope you found some inspiration from this post! Are you struggling with self-image? I’d love to hear your story. Comment on this post!
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