Is Having Goals Selfish?
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We live in a strange world – where stay-at-home moms are still thought of as the feminine ideal, but they’re looked down on as wasting their education and hanging out in pajamas all day. Meanwhile, working moms are either thought of as being selfish and not spending enough time with their kids, or being alpha women who sacrifice time with their kids to provide for their family. Of course, there are other stereotypes and assumptions out there, none of which are completely accurate. No matter the mom, we’re all real people (shocking!) – and having goals is in our DNA.
Whether we want to follow our career dreams, make our hobbies into a business, or just provide a bit of extra spending money for our families, moms can face a lot of backlash when we try to set and achieve goals. We’re told that we’re giving up our precious time with our kids, that we already have enough on our plates, that we’re neglecting our husbands… So what do we do? Is having goals selfish for moms? Read on to find out my take on it, and what you can say to the haters.
They say: “You’ll have less time with the kids and husband.”
Marriage is a hard thing. Throw kids, jobs, and goals into the mix, and it gets even harder. Every marriage takes work from both parties to stay successful. Having similar priorities really helps with that.
Are men made to feel guilty when they’re working hard and can’t spend every hour of the day with their kids? No! Next question. Seriously, parents miss their kids when they’re apart. (Most of the time.) That doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t work or stop having goals!
They say: “You already have enough on your plate.”
Moms are usually the mental load bearers of the family. It’s true, we have a lot on our minds! That doesn’t mean we can’t handle more. You know, like goals that would make us fulfilled, help our bank accounts, and help our families long term. But those things were on our minds already, and having goals might even help us have less to worry about.
I say: “I’m showing my kids what moms can do!”
I want Emma to be proud of me. As she get older, I want her to see that not only do I take care of her and our home. But I also work hard to give myself a creative outlet and more wiggle room in our budget! Especially for girls, seeing that moms are flexible, creative, powerful women will affect their lives in amazing ways.
I say: “I’m showing my kids what hard work looks like!”
It doesn’t come naturally to most kids to work hard for a long time before seeing results. (And a lot of adults missed out on this lesson, too!) But being a parent means being a role model. Let’s show our kids what doing the slow, hard work towards achieving goals looks like! They’ll see how fulfilling it can be to work hard for a greater purpose.
What goals are you working towards? Tell me in the comments!
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